2008
It was a time when we
Were just two
No children alongside
Nights as we chose
Meals uninterrupted
Endless red wine
I reminisce
More often now
Of what seems like a lifetime ago
Missing quiet
Hearing your thoughts
Hearing my own
Baggage
Brought my carry on
Hate overpacking
Everything inside
Organized to perfection
Each item has been
Cleaned of accountability
Folded smaller and tighter
Matched to a moment in time
Soon I will need
A larger luggage
For my baggage
The Hive
The secrets I keep from my children
Black bees swarming in my skull
If I let them all go
On the route to my mouth
They would sting my tongue
It would swell
Enough to block any
Future secrets from escaping
I let the honey from their hive run
Down the back of my neck
Leisurely onto my shoulders
Sticking them together full of tension
It trickles down to my heart
Enveloping it
In a tacky golden layer
Making it harder to hear
Its beat
It coats my stomach
In a sugary taste of discomfort
That gut feeling
Of what could happen
The honey seeps through my knees
Filling up my legs
So heavy
My toes may burst
It is safer to keep the bees together
To fly and fester
I will relentlessly
Swat at the them
Hoping never to kill them
But to scare them away
My children will not be stung
I have been stung before
I am the queen bee.
Her
Meet my frenemy
Her name is Anxious.
Tonight we are going to dinner
We have a double date
At an Italian restaurant at 8
I am letting her borrow my favorite shoes
Hopefully they will give her a blister
And she will leave dinner early
She could go home and relax
Have a glass of wine
Watch her favorite movie
Actually that sounds
Nicer than dinner
Maybe I will just stay home to
Even if the company is a little uptight
And has horrible taste in movies.
Wednesdays Beat
A short morning drive down the street
Lined with palm trees tickling the sky
To the coffee shop for a vanilla latte
My thighs melting against the already hot leather seats
As I open the door and step out of the car
The song on the country radio
Grabs onto my ankle and wraps itself tight
The strong smell of the coffee shop wakes the tune
Out of its repetitive comfort zone
Waiting in line the intro
Taps my foot to the beat
Each tap a reminder of the seconds passing by
Me and my soundtrack
Head home enjoying each others company
With the windows down
Singing loud over the air
Flooding in from every angle
By the time we are home pulling into the driveway
The melody has managed
to climb my leg and
Find the perfect safe spot in
my left jean pocket
It has the perfect view to witness
The greeting hug from my daughter
That vibrates through each chamber of my heart
The pocket must have been too tight
because as I set down
My cup of jo on the coffee table
The pre-chorus takes a daring leap of faith
Swings and wraps its notes into my ponytail
The weight jerks my neck back
What starts a full out dance
That makes my dog bark at me in confusion
The yap must have startled the track
Because it quickly hides in the nape of my neck
Which was a smart place to relax while I switched the laundry
The beat matched the
Drum of the dryer filled with a shirt
I was hoping to get a chocolate ice-cream stain out of
But with no success
Now a brown spot the shape of Australia
Lingers on the collar
The chorus slides on my right shoulder just in time to
relax and enjoy family dinner
Sushi saturated in soy sauce
Enjoying everyone else’s recollection of the days events
After two glasses of rosé the bridge
Emerges in unison with the sunset
The array of colors cause
The ends of my mouth to curl up
In a small smile
That kisses my children good night
The final lines slowly roll out
In a tempo that matches the one
Of my soul and the soul of my true love
Hearing our breath in the dark
The song dives off me as the final word strikes
And lands among the sea of pillows
And all goes quiet
My eyes close
That long dark backwards fall begins
And as I gently land in my dream
The song begins from the top.
Blue Balls & Green Grass
The razor blade tore through the plastic covering
The strength behind the cut bursting with force
To match the length of time we have been waiting for this roll
Of beautiful fake grass
6 long months
Each round of the rolling out process
Made my heart beat
A beat faster
Within in 7 rolls it is rolled out flat
The green blades of fake grass
Taking me back with their delicate unnatural shape
I can hear the glasses clinking
Cheers! Echoes through the yard
Taste the tart margarita on my tongue
The ice melting under the warm summer sun
The things we will do on this grass
This summer daydream is halted
My eye darts to an imperfection
Three deep cuts through the symmetrical lines of grass
A clear as day mistake
And in an instant
As a women who never could picture
The feeling of a fully engorged penis
A fascinating yet far-fetched feeling
But now I understand
The feeling of blue balls
The ultimate high
And within seconds
The biggest let down
