Beautiful Path of Life


Looking back at my childhood and the people I called my parents

I have a deep love and respect for them

But I carry an empty hole around the idea of parents these days 

There is only absence there


I bear witness to others with their parents

Wishing mine could be the same


I fantasize about what my life could have been

And would have been if they were there for me


I dream of a mother 

Who teaches me to cook

Shows me how to garden or play tennis


The one I once had

She had a special kind of fire within her

My mother’s fire dimmed at a young age 

And faded as she left her beautiful family 


I miss my father 

He tried, but not enough

In the end I am the one without

We are both without


Things are not easy, alone

I tread through endless days 

Knitting a path together with hopes and dreams


Stitches in tight knots around a tangled wondering

What would I say if they were standing in front of me?


That it’s the simple things I miss most in my heart

I was forced to mature from a young age

I miss my missed childhood 

I miss asking for help without the worry of burden 


That I find joy in knowing I have survived 

I thank them for giving me life 

I wish they could see me now.


I carry resilience 

Willful empowerment 

And a strong sense of self 

I am thankful for this beautiful path of life.


About Author


Sydney Martyniuk

Sydney is a Santa Barbara native who graduated from Santa Barbara High School in 2013. After graduating, she was an au pair in Sydney, Australia, a dream she had had since she was young because of her name. After Australia, she traveled through Europe, staying in beautiful historical places such as Paris, Barcelona, and London. Since her return to Santa Barbara, she has completed her Associate's Degree in Liberal Arts at Santa Barbara City College. She is currently pursuing her BA in Liberal Studies: Child Development & Education from Antioch of Santa Barbara. And is looking forward to graduating in the Fall of 2021. She plans to continue on with school and enroll in a teaching credential and master's program soon after. Sydney eventually plans to pursue her love of teaching in a classroom of her own. She enjoys her time working hands-on with children in a positive learning environment.

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