Thirteen

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Thirteen, she believed she had it all

A loving family, a life worth living.

Mother, Father, Sister and Brother,

Together, a home full of love and care.

 

Her world, so innocent 

Nothing could go wrong

Her youth shared with friends and laughter 

Full of enthusiasm little responsibility 

Free from worry and doubt.

 

A storm. 

 

The clouds covered the sun of her youth 

It all seemed to be a lie 

Alternate universe collapsed at her feet

She fell into complete darkness

She looks back now and recognizes that day. 

How was she to survive in a world so bare?

 

She was forced to grow up 

Become an adult. Without her mother

Learn the sad and true parts of life

Grow in more ways than one 

To be the person her mom would have wanted her to be

How to go on? 

 

A mix of emotions 

Losing her mother, suddenly with no understanding

No understanding of what to do next

Standing in darkness 

As people felt bad all around

A new feeling as if disappointment had set in

Which path to take?

 

She wanted people to understand that she would recover 

People expected her to fail,

To fall apart,

To not be okay

Would she be okay? 

 

But she knew better 

She knew she was strong 

Capable of much more

And more would take time

She knew her mother was always looking over her 

Where would life take her?

 

She had a guardian angel

The best guardian angel.

A mother of power and resilience 

Always there when she closed her eyes

But why can’t she be here?

 

Her mother had created change, 

Not only in her but had imprinted on so many others

Her mother was strong, resilient, bold and courageous 

As was echoed by all that had the fortune to know her

Where were they when she needed them the most?

 

The memory of her mother would not disappear

To disappear would not be possible.

The faint recollections that she has to remember

Will always be there to provide stories for others 

And continue her legacy.

Her mother meant more than the world

Could her world ever mean as much again?  

 

That sunless day was etched into her memory

Loss, sadness, confusion.

The end of her childhood. 

The dark day that life changed forever. 

When Lynne’s time on earth had run out. 

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About Author

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Sydney Martyniuk

Sydney is a Santa Barbara native who graduated from Santa Barbara High School in 2013. After graduating, she was an au pair in Sydney, Australia, a dream she had had since she was young because of her name. After Australia, she traveled through Europe, staying in beautiful historical places such as Paris, Barcelona, and London. Since her return to Santa Barbara, she has completed her Associate's Degree in Liberal Arts at Santa Barbara City College. She is currently pursuing her BA in Liberal Arts from Antioch of Santa Barbara. She plans to start the teaching credential and master's program through Antioch in the summer of 2021. Sydney eventually plans to pursue her love of teaching in a classroom of her own. She enjoys her time working hands-on with children in a positive learning environment.

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