Beautiful Path of Life

Looking back at my childhood and the people I called my parents

I have a deep love and respect for them

But I carry an empty hole around the idea of parents these days 

There is only absence there

 

I bear witness to others with their parents

Wishing mine could be the same

 

I fantasize about what my life could have been

And would have been if they were there for me

 

I dream of a mother 

Who teaches me to cook

Shows me how to garden or play tennis

 

The one I once had

She had a special kind of fire within her

My mother’s fire dimmed at a young age 

And faded as she left her beautiful family 

 

I miss my father 

He tried, but not enough

In the end I am the one without

We are both without

 

Things are not easy, alone

I tread through endless days 

Knitting a path together with hopes and dreams

 

Stitches in tight knots around a tangled wondering

What would I say if they were standing in front of me?

 

That it’s the simple things I miss most in my heart

I was forced to mature from a young age

I miss my missed childhood 

I miss asking for help without the worry of burden 

 

That I find joy in knowing I have survived 

I thank them for giving me life 

I wish they could see me now.

 

I carry resilience 

Willful empowerment 

And a strong sense of self 

I am thankful for this beautiful path of life.